Talks that changed!!!!!

How can life change with one small conversation and decision taken on the basis of it, can bring about such huge realignment of goals and objectives in life... Starts you to think about the purpose of life, and re arrange the priorities in life.. Sitting in a finance class i am trying to recollect all the conversations with then i thought with jus random acquaintances have jus turned my life on its head :)

Ok before i offend anyone who might think i am referring to him/her its in an order of latest going backwards... Since my class is short and coming to an end, i have just mentioned 3 conversations, there are a few more, which would follow in my next financial class. 


1. "Hey how r u doing " "Good, You" "You a new student?" "No i have been here since last year, last semester" "O wow"

This particular conversation, on level 2 of INCEIF in the very initial days, of my stay here, just transformed the Aun that is what i had visioned and planned myself to be... This was the time when i was still in a very searching phase, in my life, had taken a lot of impulsive decisions lately and had ended up in malaysia in pursuit of something, which i know i would probably never have. So this particular person just showed me that there is still hope in this world, and yes sincere people and friends do exist whom you run into when you least expect them.. They would standby you no matter what happens and no matter what you do.. they would be there. 

That small random conversation led to more random talks and then some amazing times together, trip to another country, random trips around the place where i live, long serious conversations in defining my future course of action in career, and keeping me sane and my mind off all the pain in life.. One surprising realization for me is that i am not a horny asshole anymore, i can be close and be friends with a girl and not having any feelings for her in that sense ;) (the standard paki horny boy mentality) Well this is only the second friend who is a female, who cant turn me ON ;) surprisingly the the other one is also based like her in the land of Arabs. I know i should probably go and see a urologist or a sex doctor but na i guess because i can never look at a girl with my sexual fantasy eye. Mainly people would say i am GAY now but for those of my friends who know me pretty well you would know why i wouldnt. 

2. "What do you wanna do about it" "I dunno, do you think its worth a shot" "yes i think so, What do u say about it " "Well lets see i would like to give it a shot, Lets take every day it comes"
This conversation on roof back in my home country in November of 2007, changed my life totally forever, the every day as it comes made me fall head over heals for a girl, and showed to me what love is all about. The future came in with a lot of exciting new things, first times, heartaches, tears, smiles, meetings spread over three countries, and innumerable cities, trips and vacations together..


What it came out for me is that i am living in a country which is around 7 hours fly time away and pursuing a degree which i used tor refer to as "bullshit" but now have belief in it and plan on living my life in pursuit of this career. What happened to my relationship with this person, well it is still evolving, it has had its highs and lows, it has seen tears, and periods of communication by minute, over 7 seas and seen total communication blackouts.

But saying all that the resultant relationship of the conversation is It gave me a renewed hope to pursue something and a reason to struggle to excel What about future, no idea, Its for Allah to know and for us to find out....


3. "Hey how r u doin " "I m fine, ur from @ Kar right" "Ya i am and u r from @ isb" "yup so whats up whats happening"
This particular conversation, happened thanks to technology of MSN Messenger.. and hmm quite a few years after that i am here writing about it, when i am almost in constant touch with this particular person, who has been the main pillar of saneness over the past few years.. One person whom over the past four years i know i can call up at any given bloody time and know even if the world is coming to an end she is still gonna be there.


Well what came out of this conversation for me, is my best friend, and the realization of the fact that unconditional love exists between two individuals who are not dating or anything. :) (i know too much reference but i was and still a horny young pakistani boy )


So ya summing up the wonderful chronicles about my platonic relationship with this person, well i dunno the Aun that exists today would have been a totally different one, if that particular conversation hadnt taken place. Why we met and became friends, what purpose it serves in the balance of the world no idea but for me its more or less my reason to live :)

So ya finally am running outta time, a few more stories to tell, coming up very soon.

2009 for me...

Year 2009 came to an end, with a bang for the world, for me it was ruled by one saying by General George Patton

"When a decision has to be made, make it. There is no totally right time for anything."

So the highlights of my year 2009, varied from personal, to career to fanily. I would always look back at this year as one which changed my life drastically i hope for the good, but still too early for that to figure that out. Salient features


1. Started off with loved ones passing away, making me relaize the importance of life and the realization of death as the ultimate end for everyone.Shook me up a bit and changed my worldviews.


2. Learned to kneel down in front of the wishes of elders, even when i am of the view that my demands were not unjust or unreasonable, and i standby wid my choice.


3. Boundaries and races have bound us, in a fix where the culture and society we live in has become evil and intolerant, better were humans in stoneage fo sure. I wish i had the strength to standup to the world, but realized blood lines, culture, language etc. decides fate unfortunately.


4. Found out that meaning of loosing a loved one. the heartache and emotional scars remain forever. Always thought was a macho man whose life is led by logic and no emotion can shake me. But was wrong.


5. Moving to a new country, starting off afresh, reason for movement my emotions and slight logic. But i wonder if this is the right decision. But i guess it is, not the most emotionally calming ones but ya it is.


6. Plunging myself in studies again and having a renewed faith in the fact that there are still sincere people alive, whom u can befriend and have a ball of a time...

7. Realized that when it comes to the matter of a loved one, its either all or nothing...

Thats all abt my 2009 and lessons i learnt some not ones which i wanted to but tht is what is reality....

Q & A with "I"

It’s a dark alley with nothing in sight, with no purpose, and wondering, WHO am I? Why in the first place I am here? What made me walk all the way here? What lies at the end?? Some of the questions have always asked myself in my mood swings, and when I am deep in contemplating on what I have done.

A surprising change happened in my life a few months ago when I moved to a new country for my masters, in a field, i had once referred to as charity work and not fit for me who wants money and lot of it in life :) Since I have been here these questions have been bugging me like anything have actually lost sleep on it .. those who know me well, would know that sleep is my specialty :P So pretty unexpected long talk in the middle of a night with someone I never thought would talk this out, Hell never thought I would actually talk about it with someone, it’s me and its mine and my issues and thoughts, but that one serious talk that sometimes clears your mind and everyone needs in life at least once finally happened.

So I have actually realized that I all the way know some answers, just had to put them in perspective... for the rest need help from everyone.... will start off with the question 2 and 3 together, as cant seem to separate them
2)Why are we here in this world, the conventional or the Darwin philosophy which I always have believed in is that its part of the evolution process, It all started off with a big bang and millions of years from then we r here, as humans the best race in this universe, But then I think why humans, and well if evolution has to go on then what is the next form we will take, will we have an Armageddon and everything end... But Na that doesn’t make sense. With the destruction of the world, will the evolution process end? If yes then why in the hell did it start in the first place and evolve to such levels of superior intellectual beings as humans today, fail to answer this question and totally no idea at all.. Can anyone shed some light in it??? Second perspective the Islamic one, well an almighty one made all this universe, and us humans to worship him, OK that does make sense, but then again, if he is the Almighty one then why does he need a race to worship him, and if he just needed and wanted us to worship him, then why give us free will which we think we have, which I doubt on. Now the only peace and answer I could find when I searched for the answers was the one basic one, which all of us Muslims have been taught from childhood, Divinity of God, and that there is one superior power which made all this. Well that belief does answer my main concern for the Darwin theory that even for the Big Bang to happen there must have been an initiation or something behind it. Well I believe that there is a superior force. But why are we here again, is it like a game he is playing???? Well honestly no one can answer the question, the Islamic scholars I read and talked to, hushed me up one oo u can’t ask this question, the conventional atheists told me that na there is no God, but well so I ask them then why evolution and what is the next stage in evolution. The only peace you can prolly find when in search of this question is by having faith in your religion. I am not saying in Islam or Christianity, whatever you believe in as a religion go by it that is the only explanation that can satisfy you and shut you up with the unbound inquisition a man holds. So actually I came to peace with that question with the Islamic belief and have decided to shut up and have faith in it ..

Now with the nonsense I have been rambling on I come to question 4 which was "what lies at the"? Well what happens when one dies, have thought about it a lot, different views come from different schools and religion, some say we become food for the other creatures and that how the circle of life goes one. Well kind of makes sense, then some say that death is the ending, it’s just like a machinery goes bust u can’t help it, same is with humans, their machinery (organs) go bust but then what c’mon yar for machineries we kind of can reuse the parts, or not anything sell it in scrap and melt it or sum thin, what with the humans, well here the concept of circle of life explains it .... HMMMM right now the concept of circle of life does make sense, but Wait I can’t help it am a Muslim so need to discuss that perspective, here again the concept which some say as a fantasy concept, that of jannat and jahanum (heaven and hell ) comes in, well if that is the case we have a reason we are in a state of test we are taking in exam here.. Well but why should we pass this exam or even bother in doing well in it ??? If this is the body I love then why o why should I be bothered when I would be reincarnated to be handed over my result for this life... it will be a different AUN, my body would have become dust by then. Well as far as my knowledge goes about the religion, which is not that much it’s the divine path that the almighty has decided. Well religion is one topic and especially Islam, where I do not argue with not at least this stage in my life, mainly because I dun have that deep knowledge onto it and plus what it says, does make sense.. The philosophy of Islam gives you a purpose in life, it gives you a reason to do everything and anything, and I guess that is what and why we should follow a particular code of conduct in life (religion) to have sense of direction and a purpose. So I accept what Islam says about the end, and then it all makes sense to me for what I was created and why I am still here and what will happen to me...

I know I am not convincing, or anything to anyone with my ideas, but that was never the purpose, the purpose was to write what is in my mind, and what started me thinking and bringing me to peace.. For all of us we have different mindsets and thought process, what might convince and make sense to me would not to others even my siblings.. So ya I have now some answers to my questions and at least I can sleep now :)

40 days 40 nights in Malaysia

So i woke up this morning and realized i have been in malaysia for 40 days, so now i qualify to start passing comments on the yellow race of this planet...

So first some misconceptions...
1. Wht we see in the advertisements on the Malaysia Truly Asia campaign, well to see all tht u have to travel some decent distances and use a nice amount of cash as well.
2. Kuala Lumpur being a metropolitan city, well not many peopel speak English here, yar seriously more people on streets speak english in karachi, so communication is tough, which reminds me to all the time s wen we wud blabber in front of the interns in karachi in urdu, now i know how it feels :P but still wud do it again too

Anyways so after these two very important points some observations....

* Well growing up watching and reading abt a lot of stuff, special thanks to Mr. Athars hard drive in Karachi, now i am able to see the true Asians in reality and man it feels so wierd.
* One important point t remember especially the chinese population the women they dun bloody age at all, have been unable to tell a difference between 15yrs old girls and 40 years old.. So ya be very careful wen u hit on a chinese woman, u might get labelled paedophile or get beaten up by her kids.. u never know
* Ok for all those who thought we see a lot of colourful clothing in Pakistan, WE r so wrong... U wudnt beleive wht kind of surprisingly gaudy colours they have here and for both women and Men. Recntly at the Eid gatherig in my university, i was shielding my eyes, and my head was screaming when i saw guys wearing bright pink, and the brightest green i have ever seen a person wearing in my life, and tht too complete DRESSES...
* One thing food, well malay food, na not the best in the world, they jus eat rice wid anything under the sky, one thing, never have anything which has an addon egg the egg is not cooked, they jus break it onto ur food and thts a specialty guys :)
* Well like all good desi students do wen they r goin to a non english speaking country, they buy a book for the language there. and its never used WHY, u find desi s everywhere and i mean everywhere, the moment u find em all ur plans of learning the language gone... U find a comfort zone with all the desis around and tht ur life then... Same here the only malay words i know well cant mention them here :P
* and most interestingly well the ratio of guys to girl in Malaysia is dismally low in favour of guys, On a general analaysis the condominium where i live the ratio is like 5 girls to 1, so I sill have hope here :) and on top of tht the guys do exist well in front of em i am a superman so imagine how girly and sissy they are :) so ya for all my sleazy guy friends who have shared the same collection of Asian stories nd videos..... i am here to host u whenever u wanna experience TRULY ASIA!!!!!!!!!!

Hardly 16 hours before i get on a train to go back am so excited, its gonna be so cool... finally am going back , but i dunno also am double minded as well, why have no clue.

The past couple of weeks have just had some amazing highs and lows, with the Karachi INduction on the roll, and the OC NYDS just going all guns blazing some sweet memories are what i am taking back from here... Some real hot chicks have been recruited :P thanks to OC recruitment and VP PD, seems like next yera of LC Karachi is gonna be fun....

Well interns are leaving, Sukriye has left as well Wangari left yesterday. The last night with all of the interns was a nice one for the first time went to the park near us and woo, it was so cool, just look at the picture thats one big happy family of ours....

So now its all done last day in office before eid, for thoise who know what i am embarking on , plz pray that it comes through, am so confused abt what my next stepshould be from here, just wanna cuddle in and go to sleep and forget abt all this....

Weekend yay!!!!

A real sexy week ,

Twenty20 world cup is going strong and Pakistani team is hot , today in the evening they play in teh semi finals with NewZealand, wooo reminds me off teh 1992 and 1999 smi finals both times it was the Kiwi team that Pakistan beat to enter the finals.
WOW this week Pakistan was just awesome beating Srilanka and then next night beating the Kangroos, just awesome work.

Now on the other end of teh world in my office life has been so bloody fast tht seems like months have passed by but where in reality it has been 5 days, 5 days of hardcore trading shit alongwith my bestfriend getting to see eachother get bastofied.
Strangely what i was expecting this week to be it has turned out pretty good, finally am understanding the models and getting used to an independent life, its kinda strange to go back to an empty house and then just chilling out in front of the TV, thought would go insane in a life like that but have come to terms with it....

Well the best thing in the morning happened, got to the office after a liesurely stroll from my place, and opened up to see a mail from one of the closest riends containing the pictures from the last night we had together in karachi before she left. (inset: Wajiha, Ahmed)

The day seems like is gonna go all guns blazing now, the mail reminds me of some really sweet memories with these two people but also a realization of how cruel life and turn of events can be, but still NYDS baby u r coming the other one AHmed is gonna be there for sure s he is my boss :P

Right now am trying to figure out what new is lying in store for me in the days ahead, btw my room is almost completely set now and yayyyy house warming party coming up soon.............